It was a familiar sight that had become unfamiliar in recent weeks.
Jonathan Toews rejoined Chicago Blackhawks teammates for the morning skate Tuesday at the United Center, his first time taking the ice since a Jan. 28 game against the Oilers in Edmonton, Alberta.
“It’s nice,” said Toews, who has missed the last 25 games. “It’s something you take for granted. You definitely realize when you’re out of the routine and away from the locker room, not going on the road with the boys, all that stuff, and you’re just kind of on your own slugging through every day, so that part of it’s not easy.
“It’s definitely nice to be back and be on the ice with the guys.”
He announced through a team statement on Feb. 19 that he would be stepping away because of challenges with chronic immune response syndrome and long COVID-19.
On Tuesday, Toews took a mostly reflective tone during a nearly 14-minute news conference and strongly hinted that because of his health issues, these could be the 34-year-old’s final days in a Hawks sweater — or any NHL sweater.
“Both (possibilities), if I’m being fully honest,” Toews said. “I feel like I’ve said it already, that I’ve gotten to the point where my health is more important.
“I feel like I have much more to give with my experience in the game and knowing how to play the game, but when day after day you’re just pushing through pain, it’s just like, to what end?
“When you’re young and you’re playing for a Stanley Cup and everyone’s playing through something, that means something and it’s worthwhile. But I’m at that point where it feels like more damage is being done than is a good thing.”
Toews said it’s not just about having enough energy for the game but for life.
“All that stuff has been nonexistent, really just go home and lay there and try and recover and get ready for the next day,” he said. “That’s all it’s really been.”
Toews stopped short of saying definitively that he would retire after the Hawks’ last nine games, culminating with the season finale at home against the Philadelphia Flyers on April 13.
“We’ll see how things play out,” he said. “I can’t get myself or get ahead of myself because every time I do, that’s when I create the expectations (and) you get on a bit of a mental roller coaster.
“I’ve said this quite a bit over the last few years, just trying to stay in the moment and take it day by day.”
The Hawks lost to the Dallas Stars 4-1 on Tuesday night, and Toews didn’t play. The team doesn’t have a timeline for his return.
“It’s having some communication with him, how he’s feeling, when he’s ready, keeping communication with the medical staff to make sure it’s also a good idea for him to do that and that’s it,” Coach Luke Richardson said. “We’re just going to go day-by-day here.
Depending on how Toews responds physically, the Hawks “can take that next step later in the week and hopefully (he) gives us the green light to go in a game,” Richardson added.
Here are four other things we learned from Toews.
1. Toews’ symptoms had been building, but his system all but crashed in January.
Toews recorded eight goals and five assists through 20 games this season. He thought he was putting the fatigue and mental fog of CIRS in the rearview mirror.
“It was a good thing to just continue to play through and knowing that you see light at the end of the tunnel as far as feeling somewhat normal again,” he said. “But it just got to a point where I wasn’t recovering and it was just progressively getting worse. And I was starting to get pretty alarmed that it was something I was clearly not getting to the bottom of it.”
Toews said he didn’t want to get into the “gory details” but he was open about the toll: the drag on his mindset and the aches and fatigue that never quite left his body.
“It’s just the immune-response thing that they talk about, just feeling completely inflamed,” Toews said. “Your whole body, you just feel miserable across the board. It’s not fun. And the mood is never great either.”
For Toews, it wasn’t like a normal injury recovery cycle for an athlete.
“It’s not like a knee injury or shoulder injury where you lay under an MRI and your proof is right there,” he said. “It’s been kind of one of those complicated things even for me, it’s been really challenging at times to figure out what’s going on.”
It all got to be too much to bear in January.
“It just got to the point where I couldn’t move on the ice and didn’t even want to put on my skates or roll out of bed to come to the rink,” Toews said.
“It probably took me a couple of weeks of just wrestling with, in my own mind, trying to figure out what the right decision was, if I should keep trying to push through it or kind of pulling the plug and trying to focus my energy on getting better.”
Toews chose the latter and took an indefinite leave. He had 14 goals and 14 assists in 46 games.
Richardson was aware of what Toews was enduring.
“He’s a hard guy and he pushed through a lot of things over the year,” Richardson said. “I think he pushed as far as he could and knew he got to the point where he wasn’t helping the team or himself.”
2. Toews felt like he was constantly ‘on the clock’ to get mentally and physically ready.
“Even last year when the season ends, your mind goes right to, ‘How much time can I take off?’ And then, ‘How much time do I need to get ready for next season?’ ” he said. “So you’re always constantly in that swing of preparation and getting ready for the season or trying to survive during the season.
“It was good for me to just step aside and not have any timetable for a little bit.”
3. The thought has crossed Toews’ mind: ‘This could be it for me in Chicago’
Heading into Tuesday night’s game, the Hawks are third from the bottom of the NHL standings.
Needless to say, there’s little reason for Toews to play again this season other than the possibility of a last chance for a send-off from Hawks fans and teammates.
While Toews sat out, the Hawks traded a lot of familiar faces and also spent a lot of time on the road.
“I had to put myself first in that situation, try and get things right and go from there,” Toews said.
“Having said that, it’s getting down to where these last few games, the thought crosses your mind that this could be it for me in Chicago. It’s definitely important for me to try and go out there and really soak that in and enjoy it. Show my appreciation for the fans as well.”
4. Despite the writing on the wall, Toews was ‘definitely shocked’ by the Patrick Kane trade.
Kane had been Toews’ running buddy for three Stanley Cups in the 2010s, so perhaps he couldn’t mentally reconcile they had reached the end of the road together.
But the New York Rangers had been sniffing around Kane for months.
“The possibility was there for a while,” Toews said, but he thought to himself, “It’s not actually going to happen, you know? You just can’t see a guy like him in another jersey.”
The Rangers’ trade for Vladmir Tarasenko seemed to shut the door on Kane in blue, but it only temporarily slowed the Rangers’ pursuit.
So when the Hawks actually traded Kane, Toews “was definitely shocked.”
“All of a sudden, you see him in a New York Rangers jersey,” Toews said. “It kind of looks good on him, to be honest with you. I hate to say that.”
Toews said he’s happy Kane joined a Cup contender and “reunited with a guy like ‘Bread Man,’ ” referring to former Hawk Artemi Panarin.
“Kaner’s such a competitor that it’s going to feel good for him to go out there and play some meaningful games in the playoffs,” he said.
Toews has been playing phone tag with Kane and tries to keep in touch by text.
“When we do get a hold of each other, it’ll be nice to express my appreciation for all the memories that we had and we shared together as teammates,” Toews said.
